5 Ways to Engineer your Village

I recently "read" (i.e. listened to on CD during my commute) Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi (http://keithferrazzi.com/).  The author promotes the importance of building connections, for business and for life.  He gives specific examples of how to build your network of friends and not just collect business cards.

As a mom, building connections and relationships is no less important.  You need a village to thrive, so how do you create that?

As an engineer and slight introvert, too much networking and socializing wears me out.  I feel like I do not always have time for my family, let alone a bevy of friends and neighbors.  After college it gets harder to meet people and even more so after you leave the dating scene.  But after hearing the message in Keith's book, I am convinced that continuing to build relationships is critical.  Here are some key takeaways from Never Eat Alone.

1.  Identify people you want to meet.  

Keith suggests making a list of people you want to meet to help drive your life goals, both current and longterm.  As a big fan of list making myself, I have found that the more specific I make a goal (like naming a person in the job I want), the clearer the path becomes.  If you make a list of people you want to meet, when you see them you have more incentive to talk to them or you seek them out for advice or perspective.

2.  Join a club.

What better way to meet people with similar interests than to join an organization dedicated to a specific subject.  As a working mom, mother's groups are critical for emotional support and to share ideas.  I also belong to industry focused organizations, like Society of Women Engineers.  You could even join a club for something you want to learn more about, (like writing for me).  Toastmasters is a great organization to practice speaking skills and you are typically exposed to people from varied industries and backgrounds.  In Toastmasters everyone feels vulnerable when they are giving speeches, so you tend to build strong bonds with others in your club.

3.  Invite people to lunch/coffee.

This is one that I struggle with because I like to work through meals.  I want to be able to leave work on time, so I typically eat lunch at my desk.  I need to start using the power of the network by making my meals opportunities to connect with others and drive my career, instead of just the day to day details.  This month I will work on creating stronger bonds with co-workers and maybe even get some critical negotiation or decisions

made. 

4.  Stay connected by sharing relevant news.

My main source of news these days is either Facebook or NPR on my way to and from work.  News is great for small talk and building an intro with someone.  If you find an interesting article, you can share it with someone else that may find it interesting. 

5.  Throw dinner parties.

I know, I know.  When I heard this one I thought "No way!"  My house seems to be constantly in chaos and I barely have energy to feed my family.  But then I started looking at it as a chance to connect with other families in small groups.  Now I am considering a monthly dinner/playdate with a few local families with similar age kids.

My goal for February is to build relationships, with new friends and the ones I already have.  If you hear from me, now you know why.

Attached is a calendar of suggested activities to stay on track making connections daily.

Kid science - Space exploration

Tonight we decided to make a spaceship out of large cardboard boxes (thanks Amazon subscribe and save).  We did not do anything fancy, just drew some portholes on the side of one box, got in and commenced a countdown.

10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...Blastoff!

And then my explanation began about how we had to pick up speed to escape the earth's gravitational pull.  We passed the moon and somehow got too close to the sun, but started our exploration of the solar system with Mercury.

Mercury is the closest to the sun and requires special heat proof clothing and goggles.

After collecting specimens (things in the room that were green), we moved onto Venus.

Venus is a rocky planet with lots of volcanic activity.  We collected objects around the house that looked like rocks.  

Mars is the red planet and very stormy.  We collected items that were red.

Jupiter has a lot of moons.  We collected round specimens.

Saturn is the ringed planet.  We collected rings for further study.

Uranus and Neptune are the farthest from the sun and cold.  We collected items that were blue. 

Then we practiced what other words start with the same letter as each of the planets and discussed what extra terrestrials or "martians" might look like if we discovered life outside our planet.

It was a very basic excursion, but we covered an intro to the planets.  I guess we need to get some space themed books so we can learn a little more about each planet and specific tasks we might accomplish on future expeditions.

Check out some kid friendly websites on space:

http://www.nasa.gov/audience/forkids/kidsclub/flash/#.VMscx4E76rU

http://mrnussbaum.com/space-2/

http://www.sciencekids.co.nz/space.html

Decided to take a book to space.  It's a long flight.

My Lean In Story

Your career, like life, is a journey.  I have shared one of my "lean back" stories and to show that I have learned something over the journey, here is a "lean in" story.

After my son was born, I changed companies and locations to improve the pace of work and be closer to my family.  My new job was a project management role and was not based in the plant, so I had flexibility in my work schedule and I was not on call 24/7.  My new location was 30 minutes from my sisters and 2 hours from my parents (vs a plane ride previously), so I was happy. I enjoyed my job and was looking for opportunities for advancement when I got pregnant with my second child (2 years later).  

Even after I had announced my pregnancy, I continued to apply for open positions and was even sought out for a promotion.  I applied for the new role and discussed the impact of my impending maternity leave and subsequent travel limitations during the first year.  I was assured that if I was the right fit, the team would make it work.

Well, I did get the job and they did make it work.  I started with the new department as a manager and promptly went on maternity leave after 6 weeks of frantically getting to know everyone and the basics of the group processes.  When I returned after 4 months off, I ramped back up and prioritized communication so that I would not need to travel right away.  

Having this type of support from a company and a manager is exactly what we need to keep women motivated in the workplace.  I am much more energized in my job, let alone loyal for the trust and support I have been given.  

After writing this, I thought "why should I be thankful?  Would a man even consider that or just assume he was entitled?"

Either way, I believe we need to support employees in their circumstances, if they are the right fit.  We have a saying at my work about "bringing your whole self to work," so you can spend your energy doing valuable work instead of worrying what others will think. 

This story is not as much about me being proactive, but finding the right company that values my skills. 

Here is to more companies and managers with these type of values. 

TerraCycle - New Green Option

In my pursuit of all things new this month, I have discovered a new disposition for disposable items that are not typically accepted as part of municipal recycling facilities. It is a recycling company called TerraCycle. 

According to the website, "TerraCycle partners with Consumer Packaged Goods (CPG) manufacturers to administer free programs which pay consumers to help collect non-recyclable packaging, which is then upcycled or recycled into eco-friendly products."

You can sign up for a "Brigade" and send relevant empty containers to them, postage paid.  They take the waste and either up cycle it (use potato chip bags to make a purse) or recycle it.  Each brigade is sponsored by a consumer products company, which pays the postage (and may help with the recycling).  If you send enough material for recycling, you can earn points and money for your local non-profit.  This seems like a great opportunity for a local school or club. 

I signed up for every Brigade possible, but many of them had waiting lists.  I focused on the brigades for diaper packaging (sponsored by Huggies), toothbrush & toothpaste (sponsored by Colgate), and beauty care packaging (sponsored by Garnier).  They also have brigades for potato chip bags and juice pouches, but we do not really consume much of those in my family. 

I promoted and collected packaging at my church and local moms clubs. Most of the brigades have minimum ship amounts (by weight) to earn points.  I can not accumulate anywhere close to the minimum on my own.   Although I do not need the points, I want to make the shipment worth it from an environmental perspective as well. 

After 3 months, I felt like I had enough to ship, so I printed out the free shipping label, packaged it up and dropped it at a local FedEx store.  Super easy. After several weeks, you can see the actual weight that was received and if you earned any 

Points. Even after 3 months and collecting through my network, I did not meet the minimum for the diaper packaging or beauty care brigade. Maybe I can expand where I collect next time. 

I hope they are making good use of the materials I sent.  Like your municipal recycling program, it is difficult to tell how much actually gets recycled, but I would like to make every effort I can to keep waste out of the landfill.  

Check it out at www.terracycle.com

Kid Science - Airplanes

After a family plane ride to Phoenix and a work flight for me, my son has been curious about airplanes.  What makes them work and gives them the ability to fly through the air?

Fortuitously, my son also just received a model glider kit for Christmas.  I eagerly "helped" him put it together (i.e. he watched me put it together) and we tested flying it around the house.  Note, the kit was designed for age 8+.

Here is an example of how we followed the scientific method during our build and test:

Step 1 - Research - how do airplanes work?  The glider kit came with a little booklet that explained basic aerodynamics (ie fluid dynamics of air).  Bernoullis' principle demonstrates that the faster fluids move, the lower their pressure.  The Lift force pushes the airplane up when air flows over the wings.  (Lift is always perpendicular to the direction of the airflow.)

Step 2 - Define a problem - How do we make an airplane/glider that flies across the room?  How do we maintain the airflow across the wings to create the lift force long enough before it falls?

Step 3 - Form hypothesis/design test model - The glider kit gave us several sample designs to try.  The main one had slightly curved wings, extending in series from the body of the plane, as well as stablizers in the back.

Step 4 - Test.  Test flights are the best part of any model airplane/glider experiment.  Sometimes the experiments went well and the glider went across the room and sometimes it nosedived almost immediately.  Either scenario was greeted with shrieks of surprise and delight from my 4 year old.  The test and experimentation phase is usually the most rewarding of any scientific process.  It gives you the chance to get hands on and see success...or at least break something. 

Step 5 - Analyze results and repeat from Step 2.  Crashes were the most exciting part of the experiments, but then we had to adjust our design and try again.  Do we need to start from a different spot in the house (top of the stairs)?    Should we move the wings forward or back to balance the weight?  Did we break a piece and need to re-evaluate the design?

Final step - review what we learned.  After we finished our test runs (and it was time for bed) we talked about what worked best and why.  We noticed that if the wings were too far back, the nose was too heavy and it would crash.  We noticed that if the wings were at an angle, it made the plane turn.  We also looked forward in the booklet to see what we might want to build next time.

Overall, it was a fun experiment.  Now I am motivated to look for some basic paper airplane suggestions on Pinterest, that we can test without as much destruction.  We can build several models and determine the best design for maximum distance, hang time, and speed.

(see my Pinterest pics After a family plane ride to Phoenix and a work flight for me, my son has been curious about airplanes.  What makes them work and gives them the ability to fly through the air?

Fortuitously, my son also just received a model glider kit for Christmas.  I eagerly "helped" him put it together (i.e. he watched me put it together) and we tested flying it around the house.  Note, the kit was designed for age 8+.

Here is an example of how we followed the scientific method during our build and test:

Step 1 - Research - how do airplanes work?  The glider kit came with a little booklet that explained basic aerodynamics (ie fluid dynamics of air).  Bernoullis' principle demonstrates that the faster fluids move, the lower their pressure.  The Lift force pushes the airplane up when air flows over the wings.  (Lift is always perpendicular to the direction of the airflow.)

Step 2 - Define a problem - How do we make an airplane/glider that flies across the room?  How do we maintain the airflow across the wings to create the lift force long enough before it falls?

Step 3 - Form hypothesis/design test model - The glider kit gave us several sample designs to try.  The main one had slightly curved wings, extending in series from the body of the plane, as well as stablizers in the back.

Step 4 - Test.  Test flights are the best part of any model airplane/glider experiment.  Sometimes the experiments went well and the glider went across the room and sometimes it nosedived almost immediately.  Either scenario was greeted with shrieks of surprise and delight from my 4 year old.  The test and experimentation phase is usually the most rewarding of any scientific process.  It gives you the chance to get hands on and see success...or at least break something. 

Step 5 - Analyze results and repeat from Step 2.  Crashes were the most exciting part of the experiments, but then we had to adjust our design and try again.  Do we need to start from a different spot in the house (top of the stairs)?    Should we move the wings forward or back to balance the weight?  Did we break a piece and need to re-evaluate the design?

Final step - review what we learned.  After we finished our test runs (and it was time for bed) we talked about what worked best and why.  We noticed that if the wings were too far back, the nose was too heavy and it would crash.  We noticed that if the wings were at an angle, it made the plane turn.  We also looked forward in the booklet to see what we might want to build next time.

Overall, it was a fun experiment.  Now I am motivated to look for some basic paper airplane suggestions on Pinterest, that we can test without as much destruction.  We can build several models and determine the best design for maximum distance, hang time, and speed.

After a family plane ride to Phoenix and a work flight for me, my son has been curious about airplanes.  What makes them work and gives them the ability to fly through the air?

Fortuitously, my son also just received a model glider kit for Christmas.  I eagerly "helped" him put it together (i.e. he watched me put it together) and we tested flying it around the house.  Note, the kit was designed for age 8+.

Here is an example of how we followed the scientific method during our build and test:

Step 1 - Research - how do airplanes work?  The glider kit came with a little booklet that explained basic aerodynamics (ie fluid dynamics of air).  Bernoullis' principle demonstrates that the faster fluids move, the lower their pressure.  The Lift force pushes the airplane up when air flows over the wings.  (Lift is always perpendicular to the direction of the airflow.)

Step 2 - Define a problem - How do we make an airplane/glider that flies across the room?  How do we maintain the airflow across the wings to create the lift force long enough before it falls?

Step 3 - Form hypothesis/design test model - The glider kit gave us several sample designs to try.  The main one had slightly curved wings, extending in series from the body of the plane, as well as stablizers in the back.

Step 4 - Test.  Test flights are the best part of any model airplane/glider experiment.  Sometimes the experiments went well and the glider went across the room and sometimes it nosedived almost immediately.  Either scenario was greeted with shrieks of surprise and delight from my 4 year old.  The test and experimentation phase is usually the most rewarding of any scientific process.  It gives you the chance to get hands on and see success...or at least break something. 

Step 5 - Analyze results and repeat from Step 2.  Crashes were the most exciting part of the experiments, but then we had to adjust our design and try again.  Do we need to start from a different spot in the house (top of the stairs)?    Should we move the wings forward or back to balance the weight?  Did we break a piece and need to re-evaluate the design?

Final step - review what we learned.  After we finished our test runs (and it was time for bed) we talked about what worked best and why.  We noticed that if the wings were too far back, the nose was too heavy and it would crash.  We noticed that if the wings were at an angle, it made the plane turn.  We also looked forward in the booklet to see what we might want to build next time.

Overall, it was a fun experiment.  Now I am motivated to look for some basic paper airplane suggestions on Pinterest, that we can test without as much destruction.  We can build several models and determine the best design for maximum distance, hang time, and speed.

(See my Pinterest pics  http://www.pinterest.com/mymomsanenginr/kid-science/).

My "Lean Back" Story

As I have mentioned before, I am an engineer.  I have a Bachelors degree in mechanical engineering and a Masters degree in Manufacturing Engineering.  I started my career in manufacturing plants for consumer products (i.e. diapers, food, etc).   It was not always easy being female and young in a manufacturing environment dominated by older males.  I succeeded by balancing my technical capability with a humble leadership style.  This served me well through several promotions, but the ultimate manufacturing position, as a plant manager, made me apprehensive.  I was not confident about my abilities to take on the responsibility of being a plant manager and the direction my career was heading.

After getting married, I expected that kids would be in my future, so I started to re-evaluate my career path.  I mentally decided that I could not perform as a plant manager with kids, since there would be more demands on my time.  My husband reminded me that I would have good people working for me that would support me in daily decisions and I might actually have more autonomy from the top position.  In theory I agreed with him, but it still felt incompatible.  

When a plant manager position came open, I declined to apply, even though I was encouraged to put my name in by other leaders.  I was planning to have kids soon and I did not want to be tied down to a new role or the specific location.  I wanted to eventually move closer to my family that lived in another state after I had kids.

After my first baby was born, I started looking for another job.  I found one that was not in the plant and closer to my family, but still related to manufacturing.  I successfully got the job and moved my family.  I was making a little more money because of the cost of living, but the position was less responsibility than I would have had as a Plant Manager.

In hind sight, I realize I only looked at the negative aspects of the plant manager job and my shortcomings, instead of being honest and open about the possibility.  I had already demonstrated leadership of salaried employees and union personnel, so the increaed responsibility was not significant.  I was already getting calls in the middle of the night, which probably would have reduced once I was in the plant manager position and had another manager working for me.  If I had accepted the position, but wanted to move closer to my family after having kids, I could have left the company (which is what I did anyway).  So, by leaning back and not having confidence in my ability to learn and adapt, I did not get a chance to prove my capability, to myself or others. 

I do not know if a different decision would change where I am today, but it certainly would have given me a different experience. I hope that I will be open to other unique opportunities in the future. 

Stay tuned. Next week I will share one of my "lean in" moments. 

Mom Hack #1 - Delegate

When I was in college, I dressed up as Wonder Woman for Halloween.  It was my favorite costume and became one of my personal icons for many years.  It was not until I had kids that I realized my definition of "Wonder Woman" was not possible.  I could not do everything on my own.  I can still do a lot of things, but if I want to do things well, I need to prioritize and let some things go.  Basically, I need to DELEGATE.

 

This is a continuous learning process for me.  I like to do things on my own.  I like to be self sufficient.  I have a hard time asking for help.  But, like I stated above, I can not do the important things well, if I do not ask for help for some of the less critical tasks.

 

1.  Build your community - First you need to build your village of helpers.  This could be family, neighbors, mom's club members, church members, etc.  They can not only help with tasks, but give you moral support and trusted recommendations.  They can help you find a good babysitter, housekeeper or nanny to help with your tasks.  Building a network is a two way relationship.  You should offer help, support and information to them when you can, as well.  

 

2.  Prioritize what can be delegated.  First, identify the most important tasks and ones that are important to you to own yourself.  For me, that is playing games with my children in the evening, cooking (although it is also one of my biggest stresses) and laundry.  Then, identify what are less important tasks that must get done, but that you do not mind if someone else did them.  In my home, cleaning the house is at the bottom of my list.  I know it needs to get done, but I do not like it and I do not prioritize it when given the choice between cleaning and taking my kids to the zoo.  So, that is a task I delegate to professionals.  Yes, it is an added expense, but it takes a lot of stress and worry off my mind.  Another stress that I am evaluating delegating is meal planning.  I am currently trialing eMeals.com so I do not have to think about exactly what I will cook at the beginning of the week.

 

3.  Be Gracious to others.  Make sure to thank those that help you.  Thank you cards or small gifts (like home made cookies or chocolate) go a long way. 

 

4.  Give yourself Grace.  Delegating work or tasks does not mean you are a failure or a bad mom.  Identifying when you need help is a very important leadership skill.  If you look at the best leaders, they surround themselves with experts and skilled people so they do not need to do or know everything.

The process of delegation can also (and should be) applied to your work as well.  Take some time to re-evaluate your task list and priorities and identify something NEW to delegate today.