I recently "read" (i.e. listened to on CD during my commute) Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi (http://keithferrazzi.com/). The author promotes the importance of building connections, for business and for life. He gives specific examples of how to build your network of friends and not just collect business cards.
As a mom, building connections and relationships is no less important. You need a village to thrive, so how do you create that?
As an engineer and slight introvert, too much networking and socializing wears me out. I feel like I do not always have time for my family, let alone a bevy of friends and neighbors. After college it gets harder to meet people and even more so after you leave the dating scene. But after hearing the message in Keith's book, I am convinced that continuing to build relationships is critical. Here are some key takeaways from Never Eat Alone.
1. Identify people you want to meet.
Keith suggests making a list of people you want to meet to help drive your life goals, both current and longterm. As a big fan of list making myself, I have found that the more specific I make a goal (like naming a person in the job I want), the clearer the path becomes. If you make a list of people you want to meet, when you see them you have more incentive to talk to them or you seek them out for advice or perspective.
2. Join a club.
What better way to meet people with similar interests than to join an organization dedicated to a specific subject. As a working mom, mother's groups are critical for emotional support and to share ideas. I also belong to industry focused organizations, like Society of Women Engineers. You could even join a club for something you want to learn more about, (like writing for me). Toastmasters is a great organization to practice speaking skills and you are typically exposed to people from varied industries and backgrounds. In Toastmasters everyone feels vulnerable when they are giving speeches, so you tend to build strong bonds with others in your club.
3. Invite people to lunch/coffee.
This is one that I struggle with because I like to work through meals. I want to be able to leave work on time, so I typically eat lunch at my desk. I need to start using the power of the network by making my meals opportunities to connect with others and drive my career, instead of just the day to day details. This month I will work on creating stronger bonds with co-workers and maybe even get some critical negotiation or decisions
made.
4. Stay connected by sharing relevant news.
My main source of news these days is either Facebook or NPR on my way to and from work. News is great for small talk and building an intro with someone. If you find an interesting article, you can share it with someone else that may find it interesting.
5. Throw dinner parties.
I know, I know. When I heard this one I thought "No way!" My house seems to be constantly in chaos and I barely have energy to feed my family. But then I started looking at it as a chance to connect with other families in small groups. Now I am considering a monthly dinner/playdate with a few local families with similar age kids.
My goal for February is to build relationships, with new friends and the ones I already have. If you hear from me, now you know why.
Attached is a calendar of suggested activities to stay on track making connections daily.
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